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God-lover, singer, poet, writer, single-mother, friend.

Friday, January 01, 2010

An Ocean of Tears

It’s one of those nights when I could cry and an ocean of tears would well around my feet. Stoic? . . . not I. Not usually at all. Alas, I am a creature of emotion—tender, passionate, and deeply loyal to those placed in my life. God made me thus, though I often wonder why.

Perhaps it is because if I were one of tougher metal, though I would weep less, I would most certainly laugh less, also. If I were one of more stoic nature I could not throw my arms around this life with such exuberance nor love with such abandonment nor bring others to God in prayer with such heartfelt pleas of mercy. Loving deeply pains us deeply.

Would I trade the tearful nights for the frigid clime of casual indifference? . . . I think not. Let me be sensitive and feel deeply, though it cost me much, then ever find my heart a tomb.

Artwork: Eye Cry the Ocean © 2008 Cutsietootsiepie


  1. For years, I have identified with the impetuous personality that St. Peter sometimes demonstrated. As I get older, I may be less impetuous and more considered in my actions, but I still tend to be spontaneous and express myself more than I keep my emotions private. I just happened to see the movie version (2006) of Jane Eyre recently (Charlotte Bronte). Totally enjoyed it. The character Jane Eyre was very reserved in her expressions, and I was compelled to consider this. There was something very quiet and strong, very reflective about the way her character dealt with hardship and disappointment. One could certainly call her stoical, but she was not depicted as cold or unfeeling. Rather, she was a disciplined and faithful person who was forgiving and long-suffering. She exhibited a great deal of self control and was slow to judge others. However, she indicated that as a child she had been quite the opposite.

    As I thought about some of the situations I have faced recently at home and at work, it made me think that I could do with a little more temperance, a little more reserve. I identify with your post here but it made me think about this matter again.

    I saw the movies in your profile that you like, and see we have some of the same tastes. You may enjoy seeing it. If you do, drop me a note and let me know what you thought. (I got it through Netflix). It was the Masterpiece Theater miniseries version.

    Anyway, it is always good to consider our temperaments and see how well we conform to Him. I have spent many nights in tears, expressed many outbursts of joy (or anger!), and wear my emotions on my sleeve at times. So I really do identify with your post here. All of our qualities have their benefits, and we just need to find that balance so we remain masters of ourselves. Guess that's what makes life so interesting! I could use a little more self mastery!

    I enjoyed reading your thoughts. Thanks for sharing a bit of yourself on your blog. Hope you don't mind my comments. God bless you,.


  2. Hi Marylea,
    Thank you for your comments. I think we need all types of people in this world with their varied temperments. Life would be boring if we were cookie cutter people. I agree with you (and have seen all the versions of Jane Eyre ever filmed, all the way back to the black and white version with Orson Welles) that Jane is a wonderful character.

    When I mentioned about the choice of crying or having the heart of a tomb, I was particularly referring to being cold and insensitive as opposed to allowing ourselves to feel the hurt of others because we love them. The problem with true stoicism, a philosophy that comes from Zeno, is that it teaches that people should be free from passion and unmoved by either joy or grief. I don't believe God had that in mind for us humans when he created us. We are meant to be moved by things. We have the capacity for profound joy and grief and we were given the tears and the laughter to express it, and both are very healing to our souls. I think Jane Eyre's quiet demeanor was not from her practice of self-discipline, it was from her great and grave woundings that she received at the hands of others throughout her early life. It damaged her and removed her ability to express herself with freedom and exuberance, as I believe we were created to be able to do.

    Thanks for taking the time to write. I like discussing things.

    10:28 PM

  3. You surely have a way with words.
    And I love how you always credit the artists for the pictures. i myself am an artist and it always makes me a little demotivated to see my artwork decorate blog after blog without a single acknowledgment.

  4. I always credit artists that are still alive, but I usually don't credit the artists that are long dead and their piece is in a museum. It's very time consuming to track down which museum owns which piece.

  5. oops, I mean, I credit artists that are dead but don't put a link to where the artwork can be found as I do with living artists.