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God-lover, singer, poet, writer, single-mother, friend.

Monday, November 27, 2006

A Thousand Tons of Water

I was angry, angry at God just yesterday. It had been building up, but I pressed it down and tried to act like a good little girl; it didn’t work; it never does. In a stormy meltdown of tears and angry questions it broke loose from me. I held it in thinking I could not be honest with Him, but He urged me on. He told me He wants nothing less than honesty. In fact, only an honest person can ever find healing, salvation, or release from that which chains him.

So out it came—my pain at being left in a wilderness for far too long, my anger at His seeming lack of concern for it, and my confusion at how unjust God can seem to be. Out it poured like a thousand tons of water plummeting off a cliff . . . and then came peace.

When all was done He told me that He loved me, and I realized afresh that I could trust Him . . . I could be real even with the ugly things. He's big enough to handle it.

Artwork: Medusa or the Angry Wave by Levy-Dhurmer

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